How Many Bats Are There?
by Drakonflight
Summary: The Batfamily decides to respond to a newspaper headline. Slightly crack. Set just before New 52.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello everyone! Since I'm posting this multichapter fic all at once, I'm just going to put one author's note at the very end. I do not own Batman. Please read and enjoy!

* * *

"How Many Bats Are There?"

"How Many Bats Are There?" Dick read the headline of Bruce's newspaper as he accepted a stack of pancakes from Alfred. "What, have they lost track?"

"Tt" Damian replied, glancing up from surreptitiously playing Angry Birds under the breakfast table. "They must be idiots if they have not realized father is the only one worthy of being the Batman at present. Until I am prepared to take up the mantle myself, of course."

"But what about Stephanie and Cass? They may not be Batman, but they're still 'bats'."

"They don't count. Brown doesn't have the skills necessary to be a Bat, and Cain is still in Hong Kong."

"Actually, Master Damian, Miss Cassandra shall be returning this morning. She has concluded her business in China, for now, and would like Master Bruce's counsel on a rather puzzling case she believes should be attended to post haste."

Dick smiled. "Great, we should go meet her at the airport, right Tim?" he asked as his younger brother entered the room, blinking wearily at the light.

"Go meet who at the airport?" he asked, sitting and accepting a cup of coffee from Alfred before reaching for the bacon.

"Cass, she's here on a case. But get back to the real subject, what do we do about that headline?" Dick waved his hand in the direction of Bruce's newspaper, its owner still hidden behind it.

Tim blinked. "Do something about it how? Do you want to answer the newspaper? Tell them how many Bats there are?"

Dick grinned maniacally. "Tim, Tim, Tim. You have it _almost_ right. Why tell when you can _show_?" He turned to the head of the table. "How about it, Bruce? Want to give the reporters a picture that will wet the pants of every two-bit thug in Gotham?"

Bruce lay down his newspaper and stared at his son. "Why should we hand the underworld accurate information on our numbers and appearances?"

"Bruce, think about it. All the people who have the ability to use that kind of information already have it. We can't always avoid security cameras and we've been operating for a long time. The information can be found with enough effort. And if we really got everyone together for a photo shoot, put up a united front, think how massive it would be! The crooks would be quaking in their boots if they learned there were bats out there _that they've never seen_. Because really, maybe, _maybe_, they've see more than one of us. But what two-bit hood has any idea – let alone has _seen_ – how many of us there actually are? It would make them pause before committing a crime, knowing how likely it is that _at least one of us_ is in the neighborhood. Like you always say, criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot."

Bruce paused. "Fine," he said. "If you can convince everyone of this scheme of yours, actually pull it off, I'll be there." A slight twitch of the mouth. "Tell Cassandra I'll see her this evening. I've got a meeting with Lucius in an hour." He stood and left.

Dick grinned at his brothers. Tim reached over and snagged Bruce's discarded newspaper. "This will be difficult," Tim said, skimming over the article. "There's us, of course, and we can ask Cass when we pick her up. I guess I could call Stephanie, tell her to pass on the message to Barbara."

"No, I'll call Barbara," Dick said. "Wait, Barbara! She's probably far enough along in her rehabilitation to put on the cowl for one night, if it's just for a photo shoot." He grinned triumphantly.

Damian scowled. "So we're including my father's former apprentices as well?"

"Of course, Dami! We need the whole family!"

"And on that note, Master Dick, I believe it is time to depart if we wish to meet Miss Cassandra's flight upon its arrival."

Dick stood up, then turned to look at Damian, who was slipping his phone away guiltily, and Tim, who had opened the newspaper and was scanning the insides. "You guys coming?"

"Tt, fine," Damian answered. He stood up and stalked over to Grayson, then looked back. "Isn't Drake coming as well?"

"I've got to make a phone call," Tim said, standing and heading towards the cave. "I'll say hi Cass when you get back."

Dick nodded, and then left after Alfred with Damian.

"After all, we need the whole family," Tim murmured as he left for the "basement".


	2. Chapter 2

Barbara traced the edge of her new cowl, still slightly amazed that after everything, she was about to step into the night once again. She paused as a slight tapping came from the Clocktower window.

"Hello, Stephanie," she greeted as she pulled it open and allowed her successor inside. Steph paused once she closed the window behind her.

"Oh, Barbara," she breathed, grinning. "You're wearing it! I can't believe it!"

The original Batgirl smiled and examined her uniform. "I know, I can't quite believe it myself." A beeping came from the Womb and Barbara ran to her Crays. "Looks like Batwoman is already busy," she said as Stephanie followed her into the room. "She just stopped a drug deal by Dixon Dock." She paused and glanced up. "You know, that's not far from here. If we made a quick detour, we might be able to talk her into joining in."

Stephanie raised her eyebrow behind the mask. "I doubt it will work, but we can certainly try." Barbara grabbed her cowl from next to the keyboard and pulled it on. "Let's go."

* * *

They found Batwoman on a rooftop in sight of Dixon Dock, which was currently swarming with police and sirens as the cops took the beaten smugglers into custody. "Nice work," Barbara said, coming up to stand beside the other redhead.

The other woman shook her head. "No, this is just a piece of something bigger. I think someone new is making a push for Gotham. Actually – " here she seemed to hesitate.

"I think this is something we should compare notes on," Stephanie said, coming up beside the other two. "Batman said something similar last night."

Barbara nodded. "Unidentified smugglers brought in crack to the docks north of Aparo Park last night. Bats was looking into it. Two shipments in such close succession with unknown players? Definitely a connection." She studied Batwoman for a moment. "I know you like to operate independently, but we're on our way to meet up with the big guy at the Courthouse right now, if you wouldn't mind comparing notes."

Batwoman nodded curtly. "Fine. Just don't expect me to stick around for the obligatory 'you should work under me' speech."

Barbara raised a hand. "I should warn you, everyone else is likely to show up as well."

Batwoman stared. "Everyone else? You mean all of your little posse? You're never in the same place all at once. Is this some kind of setup?"

The original Batgirl sighed. "You read the paper this morning?" Batwoman nodded. "Then you probably noticed the headline. Nightwing got the idea in his head that we should answer and scare the bejeezus out of Gotham's criminal element. If you don't want to be involved, we understand. Bats can meet up with you later on his own to go over the docks thing. Your choice."

Batwoman snorted. "I've met Nightwing a couple times. Somehow it sounds like something he'd do. Sure, I guess I'm in."

Stephanie smiled. "Alright, let's go!" She flipped off the rooftop before pulling out her grappling gun and swinging towards downtown.


	3. Chapter 3

Bruce was already crouched over a gargoyle on the side of the courthouse when Nightwing and Robin swung down to land beside him. "Father," the youngest bird greeted before sitting down and staring at the street below, seemingly ignoring his older brother.

"But really, Damian," Nightwing continued, disregarding the cold shoulder. "What kind of pose are you going to make? We want whatever picture ends up in the paper tomorrow to make us look as intimidating as possible." Dick then proceeded to strike a pose, flexing his arms.

"I will not take such a ridiculous stance, Grayson," Damian replied.

Suddenly two figures swooped in from the northeast and landed on the corner of the Courthouse. "Relax," Tim said before anyone could move. "He left his guns at home. And he is family, he deserves to be here as much as the rest of us." The Red Hood – sans helmet – snorted and turned his back. Bruce twitched, but otherwise stayed still. Red Robin studied their faces, then relaxed a fraction when no one attacked the family's black sheep, though an awkwardness now pervaded the ledge. The only one seemingly oblivious was Robin, who continued to study the street below.

"It's good to see you, Jay," Nightwing said in the sudden silence.

Just then three figures dropped onto the west side of the tower. Though one was unexpected to those present. "I need to talk to you," Batwoman declared as she stood on the corner looking down at Batman, tense in the strained atmosphere.

"The new drug smuggler?" He asked.

"Yes," Batwoman responded as she sank to sit next to the dark knight, the tension dissipating. "I just stopped a new player an hour ago, and the Batgirls said you likely encountered the same group the night before."

Batman nodded. "What were they smuggling?"

"Crack. Same thing as last night. I don't suppose you caught sight of any possible ringleaders?"

Batman grunted. "Maybe. Caucasian male, mid-thirties. Bald, with a dragon tattoo on the left side of his skull. He was giving the orders. I doubt he's the actual boss, more likely a lieutenant."

Batwoman nodded. "Yeah, I saw him. Was yelling at the others to lay down cover fire while he escaped with the product. I assumed he was just trying to curry favor with the big man, but lieutenant seems much more likely if he was at both deals."

From there they began to discuss the number of men present at both deals, and any similarity in the locations, besides the obvious. By now, Nightwing had restarted his conversation and was annoying all of his brothers. Raised voices could be heard from their side of the roof, including Damian's expressions of contempt and swearing from Jason. While they were talking, Cassandra swooped in and landed between the two other Batgirls. She was wearing her old Batgirl costume, instead of her new Black Bat one. "Batgirls united," she said, gesturing to her outfit and smiling under the mask. She looked towards Bruce and paused. "That's Batwoman, yes?"

Barbara nodded. "They both encountered some new drug dealers, tonight and last night. They're comparing notes."

"Good," Cass replied. "Working together makes us stronger. Have the news people come?"

"Not yet," Stephanie replied, shaking her head.

"Their helicopter should be flying by in just over a minute," Barbara said. At the edge of their hearing, the thrum of rotors could be heard getting closer. "Here they come!" she cried. A whoop could be heard from Nightwing.

"Everybody glare," Cassandra joked, settling into a crouch on the ledge.

As the helicopter came close enough to see the collection of bats occupying the protrusion, it came to a halt as it hovered in midair. "Signal's lit," came the sudden call from Jason, causing everyone to give a brief glance to the sky, where the bat shone against the black expanse.

"Probably Gordon wanting to discuss the new smugglers." Batman said. "Batgirl three, you and one go to the south base." Cassandra nodded at the unspoken order to make sure Barbara got back to the Clocktower safely. She still wasn't up to street work. She fired her grapple gun and leapt, while Barbara waited until she was in the air before reaching for hers. "Red Robin, go talk to Gordon. Tell him what we know." Tim nodded and grabbed his cape before leaping.

* * *

At that exact moment the photographer aboard the news helicopter looked up from the viewfinder. "Did you get the shot?" The reporter besides him asked, squinting at the figures near the top of the Courthouse tower.

He looked at the digital image even now appearing on his view screen. "Hell, yes. You're not going to believe this one."

* * *

A/N: Hello, everyone! This is my first foray into writing fanfiction, though I've been reading it for just under a year now. I got the idea for this story from a picture of the entire Batclan on a ledge. You can find it at quirkilicious. deviantart art/ Vengeance-and- Night-212208144 (spaces removed, of course). The locations are taken from the Gotham map in the old DC universe atlas. Hopefully everybody is in character (I tried, I really did!). But please, review and let me know what you think! -Drakonflight


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